MY HEALTH JOURNEY

First of all, I must define the term health for you. While the denotation of health is "the state of being free from illness or injury", my definition of health looks a lot more like this: the state of feeling my best both mentally and physically.

Health, to me, is so much more than food and working out. Health begins internally.

I have struggled my whole life with anxiety and depression. Sure, I am happy today but a large part of that is due to years of therapy and hard work. My happiness is a work in progress. I would not be where or who I am today without acknowledging the mental health struggles I have faced. I would argue it is nearly impossible to begin or maintain a health journey without starting on the inside. If you are, or aspire to be, on a health journey of your own start there.

Moving past mental health, I guess you could say I have always been somewhat "healthy". I was a dancer my entire life which forced me to workout and care about my body at a very young age. After I quit dance in college, I quickly realized I needed something to take its place. I fell in love with barre, a workout derived from ballet. I taught barre for 2 years when living in Sonoma, CA. I have recently begun a 9 month certification process for classical pilates. I cannot wait to begin teaching again.

I think it goes without saying, I love movement. I am innately equipped to move my body, and I never take that for granted.

Food, or eating, was not always a natural-born gift of mine. I loved to eat food when I was little. I was adventurous and ordered foods like calamari when I was 10. Like many other young girls, I transitioned out of this once I realized how to compare my body to others. I stopped being adventurous, I started restricting.

I kept restricting until I was diagnosed with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) in 2015. How did this stop an eating disorder I was never officially diagnosed with? Well, I fainted a lot - like four times a week a lot. POTS created a multitude of symptoms, the worst being the unconscious spells, but I think it saved my life. My diagnosis forced me to take care of myself. After weekly doctor's appointments, countless medications, and years of trial and error - I no longer suffer from severe symptoms. I will always have this diagnosis & I will always have the occasional symptom, but for the most part I am ok.

I currently live a life of intuition.

My diagnosis really helped me understand my body in a way I truly cannot put into words. I move my body frequently, because it feels good. I journal and still go to therapy, because it feels good. I eat mainly unprocessed and whole foods, because it feels good. I also eat junk food from time to time, because it feels good. I live my life to make myself feel good.

I find health to be a tricky subject which needs a true balance of mental and physical health. My health journey has had ups and downs, but I can confidently say it will have more. That might not sound hopeful, but I know the reality of life has ups and downs. I think it is important to recognize this and be ok with it.

xx Maya

*listen to podcast episode 05. my health journey to learn more